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The Future Mrs. 'Awkins

-- Albert Chevalier

I knows a little doner, I'm about to own 'er,
She's a goin' to marry me.
At fust she said she wouldn't, then she said she couldn't,
Then she whispered, "Well, I'll see."
Sez I, "Be Missis 'Awkins, Missis 'En'ry 'Awkins,
Or acrost the seas I'll roam.
So 'elp me Bob I'm crazy, Lizer you're a daisy,
Won't yer share my 'umble 'ome?"

SPOKEN OR SUNG: "Won't yer?"

CHORUS:
Oh! Lizer! Sweet Lizer!
If yer die an old maid you'll 'ave only yerself to blame!
D'y'ear Lizer?
Dear Lizer!
'Ow d'yer fancy 'Awkins for yer other name?

(The last line of the third chorus runs:
Missis 'En'ry 'Awkins is a fus-class name.)

I shan't forgit our meetin', "G'arn" was 'er greetin'
"Just yer mind wot you're about."
'Er pretty 'ead she throws up, then she turns 'er nose up,
Sayin', "Let me go, I'll shout!"
"I like your style" sez Lizer, thought as I'd surprise 'er,
Cops 'er round the waist like this!
Sez she, "I must be dreamin', chuck it, I'll start screamin',"
"If yer do," sez I, "I'll kiss"-

SPOKEN OR SUNG: "Now then!"

She wears a artful bonnet, feathers stuck upon it,
Coverin' a fringe all curled;
She's just about the sweetest, prettiest and neatest
Doner in the wide, wide world!
And she'll be Missis 'Awkins, Missis 'En'ry 'Awkins,
Got 'er for to name the day;
Settled it last Monday, so to church on Sunday,
Off we trots the donkey shay!

SPOKEN OR SUNG: "Now then!"